New Plot! Comments Wanted!!

[Lily of the Night]

I know, wrong board, but I wanted to get your attention.


Okay, so here's the deal:

[Lily of the Night]

Basically, I'm reading TWilight. Yes, yes, Livi, I know, you can't believe it xD

Anywho, I borrowed it from Keri. Well, the wonderful book starts off like so:

"I'd never given much thought to how I would die--though I'd had reason enough in the last few months--but even if I had, I would not have imagined it like this.
I stared without breathing across the long room, into the dark eyes of the hunter, and he looked pleasantly back at me. Surely it was a good way to die, in the place of someone else, someone I loved. Noble, even. That ought to count for something.
I knew that if I'd never gone to Forks, I wouldn't be facing death now. But, terrified as I was, I couldn't breing myself to regret the decision. When life offers you a dream so far beyond any of your expectations, it's not reasonable to grieve when it comes to an end. The hunter smiled in a friendly way as he sauntered forward to kill me."

[Lily of the Night]

If you've read the book (Livi) then you know this, and if you haven't (Dawn and Dia) then don't worry. Those are the very first /actual/ words of the book. So I haven't spoiled anything for you.

So I read the first five pages and Keri and I have gym together. I asked if the main character really got killed off in the book, and she looked at me with this weird face and said "Katie, I'm reading the /sequel/. Do you think the girl could be /dead/?"

And so there went that idea. After that we got on the subject of killing off our own characters. I was talking about how hard it is for me to do, since I just love my characters waaay too much and Keri agreed about herself. So we started discussing how our characters might die, and I brought up the story of Arcane (Sorry, Livi, but it is such an awesome way to meet her end). I must say, the impaling part is the best... No, wait, the kid... I always picture the poor little kid.

Anyway, after gym (4^o) I went to lunch, and then sixth I have German. In German I was reading more of Twilight and the girl totally inspired me. And so thus this plot enfolded and became good. So, read it next.

[Lily of the Night]

A girl named Ther is the main character. She's got hair that's my color brown, and dark green eyes. Just to give you the basics. Oh, but her hair isn't so thin, it actually has a lot of body, and she wheres it in a high pony. It's all fun. Anyway, regular kid, always bored, doesn't (OMG FERRIS B ((I can't spell the last name...)) IS COMING TO NICKOLODEAN!!! ... sp) do so well in school. She only has a few friends who she hangs out with.

Oh, setting first. They live in a big city which, as of late, has been having these mysterious robberies.

One night, Ther happens to be in the wrong place at the wrong (or would it be right?) time. She see's a guy there, and is wondering what the heck he's doing (Okay, I know, this is bare bones. Suffer with me, here). As she comes up, he turns around and he is absolutely gorgeous. At least, that's /her/ view of things. slightly pale, tall, maybe not slender, but not bulky and his hight makes his average weight look less. He's dressed in a black suit and she can't figure out why, but she totally falls for him. So she starts up the whole 20Q game. And this guy is shifting uncomfortably under the interrogation. But at first, Ther doesn't catch on that she's making him nervous. The entire time he dodges her questions, quite sarcastically, I must add, which only makes her fall harder.

Finally, she toes the line and asks what he's doing. The guy up and bolts and she's left in shock. The next day, she finds out there was a robbery at the exact place she had been the night before. But her thoughts are "Hmm, what a coincidink" and thinks nothing more of it.

A week passes and two more robberies happen. The city is now in an uproar and the police are having trouble following the guy/girl. They have no leads and the random attemps are always penetrating places whether they have no system or complete surviellance.

[Lily of the Night]

A day later she is out late, walking home from a party (yes, she does get invited to some) and she sees the man again. She gets excited and goes over to him, saying "hi" and just talking with him. He's agast to see her again, and just shakes his head. So she introduces herself (she's carefree) and he just kinda laughes. This time, she starts to notice how nervous he is, despite his sarcastic air, and she backs down some. Seizing the moment, he explains that he hasta go and takes off, Ther just shrugging.

Yet again, the next day, she finds that the robbery took place in that same area. Now she becomes suspicious. But she's torn, because he fits the description, but she can't believe she's in love with a robber (not that she wouldn't love him any less). So she decides to start staking places out all night. She starts and for four nights she stakes different places out; to no avail. She decides this is wreckless, since she has no idea where he is, but she knows she can only see him at night. So she decides to stake out the school (Oh, and I hafta work out sometthing with her parents... I dunno, I think she'll just live alone). Her school is all high tech and the police had mentioned they were wondering if he might strike there. She tries her chances, since she hasta go there in the morning anyways. Lucky her, she was right, and what do you know, he wakes her up from her doze.

"What are you doing?" he asks, and she says "Waiting for you." The guy waves her off and starts off down the hallway. "Wait!" she says, "What's your name?" He blows her off, but she grabs his arm (a pointless way for a burgler to be captured, right?) and pulls him down, demanding to know. So he sighes and tells her he's "Aven". She's all happy, and let's him go and he leaves, but not before telling her not to go looking for him anymore. If he wanted to see her, got to the pizza place on thursday at eight. As you can bet, she's super happy.

[Lily of the Night]

Unbeknownst to the both of them, there was a teacher in the school, who witnessed the whole encouter. The next day, Mr. Noth Garbsen, her math teacher, calls her to his office. There he interrigates her about the guy, and why he was there and she was there, and since there was a robbery at the school that night. She, however, has had dirt on him for some time and pulls out her secret weapon (I dunno... probably an affair he's having, or something. She's super attentive to stuff like that). Thus, Noth is forced into the picture. He tells her, however, to spill it all, then, and she explains everything that happened.

He then tells her as a teacher it was his job to keep her safe. But she gets all upset and threaten to expose him, again, so he says the only other thing to do is to accompany her. Well, she's upset, but agrees and so Noth now has the chance to meet Aven.

Okay, blah blah blah, I can't explain all the fluff in the middle. Eventually, NOth lays off, although he's still suspicious. However, there is one night when Aven was with /them/ and there's a reported robbery from that night. That's proof enough for Ther, yet she's still stressed out over the whole deal. Finally, just when she thinks that she's finally winning Aven over, the police catch onto the pattern of robberies.

Aven is caught in the act of breaking and entering and a police chase ensues. Ther, who had been at home, heard the news and ran to get to the place they were at. Aven choose an alley-path so no cars could follow and police had to follow on foot, like him. All of a sudden, someone appears from the roof of one of the buildings, holding a gun pointed at the police. Aven gapes, then starts waving the man away, but the police pull out their guns. The man on the roof fires and open fire begins. But, stuck in the alley, a ricochet effect happens and Aven is shot, just as Ther enters the scene.

[Lily of the Night]

Now, here is the tricky part... There are two or three ways this plot could end:

Ending Numero Uno:

Aven is shot in the head, and falls over backward, while Ther stands there tramatized. The police begin the chase after the man on the roof, but two of the officers come over to help Ther, who is then making her way over to Aven. he's taken to the hospital, but already Ther knows it's too late. She falls into a deep depression, that not even Noth can drag her out of (since they've slowly become friends). He tells her the world hasn't ended. She grimaces and replies in return "The world may not have ended, but mine has..."

That was the last he saw of her. Ther goes to the docks and jumps, commiting suicide, since she needs to here Aven's answer to her question (like, do you love me?).

[Lily of the Night]

Plot Numero Dos:

Aven is shot in the shoulder and falls, leaving Ther tramatized (yet again). Ther and the two officers rush to his side and bring him to the hospital, but Ther is sure it's too late. The doctors almost declare the man dead, and Ther begins crying. They tell her they'll try to fix him up some, but no guarentees. As they walk out of the room, Ther could have sworn she saw Aven wink at her. The next day, they find his bed empty and the whole city is in an uproar once more. Possible meeting up with the two at the end (?).

[Lily of the Night]

Plor Numero... Traxce? I can't spell it:

Aven is shot, but slowly he recovers and stays with Ther.

This is the ending I want the most, but the first one is the original ending.

Anywho, for all of them, the last "chapter" will be concluded of this:

A newspaper report is finally released on the subject, revealing all (maybe?) the details of the matter. The man from the roof was caught, and after a while, he finally gave and confessed he was the robber. The police found out form his papers that he was slightly mental, and that Aven was his (Brother, cousin? somehting like that). He confesses that Aven was following him around, cleaning up the evidence he left behind. BUt this was because Aven felt a sense of duty to his brother (I'm pretty sure) who was crazy. Though, the brother said proudly, try as Aven might, he could never find him or his hiding place. If Aven had turned in any clues to the mystery, he woulda been questioned and he only wanted to send his brother back home and return everything in a mysterious way. Of course, if he had fessed up, he also would have been arrested for being an acoplish (whoa, I can't spell tonight) or at least breaking and entering the buildings.

[Dia]

sweet. ^_^i think its cool.

[Lily of the Night]

Yay! Thank you very much! -bow-

[Dia]

you are quiet welcome. ^_^ lol. -bows in return-

[Lily of the Night]

Huhhh.... I dunno which ending will work out. I'm waiting to hear peoples opinion. Especially Livi's, and maybe not for the reason you think. She's read the book, and so I figure her opinion might match the style I was going for.... Any commments on changes or glitches are welcome. And, yes, I accidentally left some stuff out. It was bound to happen. Oh, look, another name. I misspelled Out and it came out as "Otu" ... I like it.

[Dia]

XD nice. well i just kinda like the third one. as for my opion. >.<

[Turpentine Kisses]

Here's my thoughts;

Ending number un; I like. A lot. But, her commiting suicide?
I don't think so.
xD

Ending number deux; I like this one the best.
Leaves it open for a sequel - if wanted - and just ends on sorta a "meh" kind of note.

Ending number trois; Good, but my least favorite... Too happy and cheery and, just plain... cliched.

(No offense was meant in the making of these commentaries.)
xD