Candan (Scholarship Idea)

[Lily of the Night]

Alright, I want some feedback. Keep in mind that since this is for a contest I do not want any help with this, lest I be disqualified. Just lemme know what you think. Oh, and I'm gonna put down the plot outline first, then I'll be working on different scenes. So far I've got one scene down, one of my favorite.


Alright, here we go!

Story: Candan
Characters:
Candan-Main, captured as a slave and sold into the Fervtel family.
Peter- Main, eldest son of Fervtel family.
Derek- Second son of Fervtel family
Rachel- Third child, daughter of Fervtel family. Doesn't like Candan. At all xD
Laurel- Youngest daughter of Fervtel family. Candan is her maid-slave.
Mr. Fervtel (Master- Rich trader/merchant, owns all the slaves
Mrs. Fervtel (Lady Brandy)- Wife, sometimes has Candan attend to her since her maid-slave is old
Minnie- Lady Brandy's old maid-slave who has been her companion since childhood
Katrina- Kitchen-slave who often gossips with Candan
Jo-Ann- Rachel's maid-slave, very quiet
Rick- Candan's friend, a slave boy who she met on the slaver's ship, works at a nearby plantation.

[Lily of the Night]

(Okay, this starts very vague and ends up quite specific, as always xD)

Plot:
-Beginning
-Captured
-Held in vehicle/Slaver Wagon for 3 days
-Brought to Slaver Ships
-Sails - 12 days (meets Rick on the ship)
-Slave Markets
-Bought on 2nd day of selling
-Brought by carriage to the estate (2 day ride)
-Daughter's slave-maid
-Eldest 2 sons leave soon after for their Uncle's to spend time learning trades
-Spends her days tending to youngest daughter and mother
-When they learn she is quite educated she becomes the daughter's tutor
-One day a year and a half after being bought she goes to market with the women (mother, and two daughters plus maid-slaves) and finds out Rick is in residence at a neighboring plantation estate
-Several times a month they sneak out to see each other and talk
-Eventually the boy gets caught sneaking over
-Candan is held at home with more precautions and the Rachel becomes even more suspicious
-Boys eventually come home
-One day soon after Candan is taking care of the horses after returning from a ride with Laurel and she runs into Peter. ((He starts to fall for her <3))
-As the time goes on Candan starts to realize that he's spending time with her
-Finally she decides to find out why ((she's not exactly thick, but she can't believe anyone would fall for a slave))
-The day after she decides to ask Laurel becomes sick.
-Candan has to take care of poor little Laurel
-On fourth day when Laurel's fever is finally settling and she's sleeping Peter comes to check up on them
-They talk for a bit and Candan, tired and in a bit of a daze after tending to Laurel for four days, starts to fall for him <333
-The next two days Candan comes down with a cold as an effect of tending to Laurel for so long
-Alright, a monthe later they are invited to a ball (the family is)
-Candan attends to wait on Laurel
-Peter asks Laurel for a dance, but half way through a little boy comes and asks to dance with her
-While Peter and Candan watch Laurel dance, Peter turns to her and they dance (you know, the half joking "may I" kind of thing)
-Song ends and she retreats, noticing Rachel glaring at her.
-A long time elapses
-One night Rick sneaks out to tell her that he's worried--some of the slaves from his plantation have been disappearing after disobeying orders, several of whom were his friends, but Candan just blows him off and tells him to go home
-About a week later she hears from Katrina that Rick disappeared and supposedly was found dead
-Scared out of her wits of what could happen to her she wills herself to leave the next night, stealing out
-She's on the run for near a month and finally reaches her home town but she finds out her mother has either died or left
-Now she's completely alone and on the run, realizing that the Fervtel family would never have hurt her so (she had heard stories while she was on the run about the plantation Rick was at and how horrible it was)
-She lost her will to run and she's captured once more by slave traders, then flogged and branded (slaves are branded each time they are recaptured)
-Put up for Second auction, this time landing the horrible plantation owner who Rick had
-After two weeks she up and runs from him, being chased two miles by his guard dogs
-Found and flogged again, then branded. This is her last chance because next time she runs she'll just be killed
-At auction bids rise quickly between the plantation owner who wants revenge on her for making a fool of him and some other man, who looks nice enough
-The nice man wins and brings her back to the inn where he's staying, tells her that he was hired by a man, who is her real owner
-They travel together for three days ((this guy is so awesome, I love him already and I don't even have a name for him)) He's really nice and she just wishes that she could stay with him
-Finally they arrive at this nice manner. She's brought to the door and Peter answers it.
-Now I need to think up a sweet ending <3

[Lily of the Night]

Alright:
Now I"ll type out the one scene I did (the ballroom scene)

The ballroom was magnificent. Candan had thought the rest of the mansion was beautiful, bu nothing yet compared with the room they had just entered. The swooping ceiling scooped* higher and higher into a gold-trimmed dome some forty feet up while the tiled dance floor had inlaid silver swirls, neat as little trinkets. Majestic bushes kept in larg lcay vases escorted each of the large, snow-white pillars to either side and at least fifty candelabras hung at varying heights, drowning the room in light soft as melted butter. The distinguished ((OMFG, at first I forgot this word, and I thought it was supposed to be "extinguished" which obviously isn't right, and so I typed in "estinguished" at dictionary.com and it asked "do you mean extinguished or eating shit?")) guests only added to the room with their deep hues of violets and royal blues and their ruffling skirts and doublets*. Their diamonds and rubies and pearls caught the wavering light just so before flining it off to anywhere the little fairy lights could touch, sprinkling the room with a light dusting.

*Words marked by asterisks are words which don't sound right but for which I can't think of a better replacement. If you have any suggestions, lemme know

[Lily of the Night]

Laurel, too, was enchated and Candan couldn't suppress a tiny grin at her gaping face before gently reminding the young child to mind her manners. They followed Lady Brandy, Minnie at her side, further in until they had reached the venter where the host and hostess stood, awaiting the last of the guests to be ushered in. Then, amid the rustling of skirts and soft hum of whispered voices, the host cleared his throat and called out, "Let the dancing begin!" He clapped his hands together and the orchestra, fitted into the far corner, began a light waltz.

[Lily of the Night]

Quickly couples paired up while Laurel streamlined towards a pillar near the far wall, Candan quickly following after. "you're not going to dance?" Candan asked the young girl, not really surprised, as they came to rest at the huge tower of white. Laurel blinked at her a bit shyly. "Of course not," she informed her, "I'm too young and no boy would want to dance with me." Candan smiled sympathetically. "Would you like something to drink, then? To pass the time?" Candan asked politely and Laurel nodded.

Candan turned and becan the long journey to the punch table, weaving her way through the maze of bodies. Deftly she ladled out a cup and then a second, as an after thought, for herself. She doubled back, heading for Laurel's hant, though more slowly this time, carefully holding the two glasses slightly higher as if doing such would prevent a spill. She returned unharmed and full glassed, handing one prized cup to Laurel who drank it thankfully.

[Lily of the Night]

The long night continued, the pair standing at the pillar watching the couples dance until Candan offered to pull over two seats. There were no windows in the ballroom and Candan, bored of watching the twirling pairs, began to wonder how late it was getting. Laurel, she could tell, was getting bored, her eyes glazing over. Candan turned to her, racking her brain for a good conversation starter, when Peter strode over and, with a low bow, offered Laurel his hand. The girl giggled and stood up, glancing back at Candan for approval. Candan smiled and inclined her head, watching from under her lashes as Peter led his sister a little ways onto the floor. Then he gallantly took Laurel's waist in his hand and led her in tiny circles in time with the music.

Candan stood and leaned against the pillar, watching Laurel finally enjoy herself. And Candan could tell Laurel really was enjoying herself--a smile that big was obviously genuine. Peter, too, was having fun. From time to time he would add a small flourish to their dance and Laurel's tiny giggles would set off a grin on his face. Her hands were miniscule in comparison to his, which could encompass hers and then some, and he was nearly twice her size. And his smile was so handsome, his light brown eyes winking in the soft light.

Candan immediately stopped herself. She could absolutely not think like that of Peter. no matter how nice he looked. But not even Joe had anything on Peter, really.

Another dance began and Peter and Laurel continued their fun, altering their step just a little to fit the new time signature. And then a young boy, perhaps twelve years old, tapped Peter's forearm. Smiling shyly, he asked, "May I please dance with this girl?" Peter, ever the gracious partner, bowed and offered over Laurel's hand. The boy began to dance once more and Laurel could only follow, completely aghast for the second time that night.

[Lily of the Night]

Candan stood, watching the two as they began a conversation and Peter walked over to join her. After a few minutes silence, Candan said, "She was so sure it wouldn't happen, you know." Peter, startled, turned to her questioningly. "That what wouldn't happen?" he asked her with a frown. "Laurel. She was so sure no boy would ask her to dance," Candan replied with a gesture toward her charge. Peter's smile returned. "No girl should ever leave a ball without a dance."

Candan quietly laughed, her mutinous imagination ushering in wishful thoughts. But she was a slave. It didn't matter that she was a maid-slave. No man in his right mind would ask a slave to dance, even if she wore a dress as fine as Candan had on.

Lady Brady had insisted on the dress. "You will be there representing Laurel and I, so you must look proper," she had said with a wink when Candan had politely declined the dress. And Minnie, with a smile, had helped her into it later before they had left. Minnie also had a fine dress on. As she had finished tying up the back of Candan's dress she said softly, "Lady Brandy is kind; she always tells us that we should look nice. I think she just enjoys seeing us dressed up from time to time."

[Lily of the Night]

"So," Peter asked, "have you had a dance tonight?" The question startled Candan back to the present and she frowned. "You know very well I've not had on dance tonight," she said with a hint of sarcasm. Then she quickly added, "Sire." Buthe was already laughing and she couldn't help smiling a bit herself. "What of you?" she inquired. "Have you had any other partners but your wonderful sister tonight?" her question caught him off guard and too late Candan realized it was much too blunt. She quickly covered her borrible mouth with a hand.

Peter staredd down at her, watching her as if for some sign to just write itself out on her face. Then, nonchalantly, he looked out over the swarm of dancers. "None that I fancied more than my child sister," he told her, then turned back to her. She recognized the smirk on his face and something equivalent to relief flooded over her. He hadn't liked any one of the women yet. Silently she scolded the giddy part of her mind that savored the thought.

[Lily of the Night]

"It really is a shame, though,," he said, and again Candan was brought back to the real world. "What is a shame?" she asked him, not following his lead. "Every girl should dance at a ball." And with all the grace that seemed to radiate from him Peter offered his hand, bending into a bow. "May I?" he asked, and Candan, too shocked for rational thought, accepted his hand.

He led her through the throng of couples, though not quite leaving the sanctuary of their pillar or losing site of Laurel. now Peter's hand was on her waist and his large hand was grasping her small one. And now Peter was smiling at her. And Candan smiled back, trying to bite back the nervousness welling up in the bottom of her stomach. Again the orchestra was playing a waltz and as the two of them circled the same small circles Peter had drawn with Laurel Candan noticed several eyes following them. And not just following Peter, but following her.

She glanced down at the beautiful dress and could hardly believe they would even bother. Couldn't they see the thick metal band around her ankle that not even boots could cover? Surely the dress itself could not make her a spectacle. Peter, following her gaze, sighed. "Don't worry about it, Candan," he reassured her. Her stomach flopped over when he said her name. "You're my family's slave." The reality hit home.

For a full wasted minute Candan mulled over the sorrowful fact that peter owned her. And then, slowly, the hopeful thought emerged that perhaps that was a good thing. Master Fervtel would surely not approve of her dancing with men, particularly when she was here to wait on Laurel. But Peter was family, and if he believed Laurel to be in safe hands then surely Candan was free to dance with him, when otherwise she would be unable. And Peter knew it.

[Lily of the Night]

The last notes wavered and with a polite curtsy candan withdrew back to her pillar. For a moment Peter hesitated, then he smiled and returned to the sea of bodies, vanishing behind a rather large woman. Candan resumed her seat, keeping an eye on Laurel, who seemed to be enthralled by the boy she was dancing with.

Eventually lady Brandy appeared, Minnie near behind, to bring them home once more. The family alighted into their carriage and began the ride home. Candan couldn't help noticing Peter's decision to ride out from with Joe or the way Rachel glared at her from time to time. but she had Laurel to keep her occupied, who delighted in telling Candan her entire conversation with Matthew, the boy she had danced with.