Mokokos
Junior Member
Eating life right up.
Posts: 64
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Post by Mokokos on Feb 6, 2007 19:35:51 GMT -5
Arg, Livi, you're sounding like Devin... "Life's tough, get a helmet."... Disgusting. Sure, everybody has there problems. So why don't we ever try and help each other out with them? It always confused me. I mean, there's obviously going to be communication problems, but lack of communication whatsoever is just... incomprehensible, to me.
I woke up, and the world didn't thank me for it. No one did. They slept in.
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Post by Dia on Feb 6, 2007 20:35:31 GMT -5
the only time my parents were proud of me other than school was when i gave my blood up for donation. other than that its never.
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Post by Turpentine Kisses on Feb 6, 2007 21:38:17 GMT -5
...I believe I was misunderstood. -_-
It wasn't a "fuck off, no one wants to hear you message." It was more of a - well, meant to be, anyway - you're not alone sorta thing.
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Post by Lily of the Night on Feb 6, 2007 21:46:51 GMT -5
Yeah. But then, Connor, when did you ever stand up for Livie? Huh? SOunds to me like all you've been doing is antagonizing her. Oh yeah, right, way to show your affection and caring. I'm so sure. You can't force your feelings onto someone. It. Sucks. You also can't go around telling them that their friendship is in your eyes and half the time all some "expirement". Oh, and antagonizing her about how you're "so sure that this Katie girl means a big part in her life and she must miss me so much"? Yeah. Real sucky move right there. All you've been doing about three weeks after you met livie is making enemies. Just bite your fucking tongue and lay off her for a moment. You may be going through some almighty life alteration. But has it ever occurred to you that while your life was in this blind state things around you have been shifting and moving? You're losing your choices here buddy boy. You may be experiencing some epiphany but if you don't take some notice of those around you then you're gonna miss out on more than you can afford.
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Post by Dia on Feb 6, 2007 22:36:08 GMT -5
-sticks up a flag- i will not get into this....idk what's the situation so i can't stand up for ANYONE. but, i want to say one thing. to kts comment. if you stand still in time that dosnt mean everything else is going to too. and i learned that too. if your gonna be blinded by life...stand still dont move. however dosnt mean that you shoulnt try to watch what your doing. going full throttle at something, which i have NOW learned, is something to take very cautiosly. if you know you can't handle it, dont do it. failing at things....makes you learn and grow.....alot....but learn from those mistakes.
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Mokokos
Junior Member
Eating life right up.
Posts: 64
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Post by Mokokos on Feb 7, 2007 19:15:37 GMT -5
Alright.. point-by-point...
Did I ever stand up for Livi...? Maybe a couple of time, but that was a while ago... We don't talk too much anymore, so I don't see any point in doing it now... In fact, I haven't really even been given the opportunity =/
Antagonizing... I must admit, I've never thought of it that way. I'm horrible for expecting people to respond to things the same way I would >.< It's a horrible habit that I've been trying to break for some time...
You're absolutely right about tell her about the experiment thing. That was horribly misunderstood from the beginning, And I should have never brought it up. It's not a horrible thing to do if no one knows I'm doing it.... That sounds worse than it is. I did a terrible job of explaining it in the first place, so whatever impressions you have are probably at least a little off the mark. The point is, it's how I live, and I made a mistake in trying to tell anyone, let alone Livi, about it.
Antagonizing her about you had never occurred to me either.. it always seemed like she was the one that brought you up, but I suppose there were occasions where I either brought it up or made the problem worse... See third paragraph.
"lay off her for a moment."...? I didn't talk to her for like... 3 weeks? Only recently have we actually started talking again... and that wasn't bad, just.... unproductive, at least for me. (Edited)
Yes, it occurred to me that things might be moving around me. I chose to ignore it because I didn't think it would make a difference. Whether it did or didn't, I don't know... Because no one will tell me? Dunno...
Honestly... I'm not too concerned with the results of my High School life, except for all of the things I learned, scholastically and socially. I'm hoping I'll be able to move away, far away, and go to University, retaining fairly little contact with High School peeps... How cold, lol... Ah well, maybe that'll change or something. For me, High School is a place to learn, not establish life-changing stories. I'm sure it's a completely different story for you, and Diana, and Livi, and maybe everyone else I know. But I've given up on my dream of becoming the dream-child, the everyone's-friend, the life-changer. That ship has sailed, along with many others.
People keep telling me that High School is the best years of my life, that I should stop being realistic and start having a little more fun. Fun is a side dish, a bonus that comes with learning. I'll have the fun I need, then move on. The best years of my life will be University, most likely Year 3+.
Disgusted yet? Good. That makes me feel better. I seriously thought you would be one of the last people to hate for being different. I'm selfish, and I know it. Does that make me a bad person? Does being cold to people for a reason they don't or can't understand make me a bad person? Is there such thing as a bad person?
This is who I am. Before, I was acting, I was not showing my true colours. This is who I am at heart. You are seeing the person deep inside. This is the me that I can transform for life. However... I don't want to start changing until I'm absolutely sure of who I want to be. Who I was before was nice, pleasant, funny... But he had problems. He procrastinated like a bitch, and refused to live in anything other than a dream world. I don't want those problems with my new self. I will be a better man than that. But, for the moment... I am pretty much an open book, at least to my close friends. Quite possibly a book written in a language they don't understand... but I don't know that for sure. It doesn't really matter to me.
I have run out of choices, your right. But it doesn't matter; I've already decided.
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Post by Turpentine Kisses on Feb 7, 2007 20:06:02 GMT -5
Connor, you're striving to be perfect... It'll kill you. I've seen it happen. And I'm not talking in a book or on a show. I was good friends with a girl who tried so hard to be perfect in everything. And I can tell you right now it wasn't pretty.
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Post by Turpentine Kisses on Feb 7, 2007 20:07:57 GMT -5
And from my end, our little talk went fine. (There was no sarcasm intended in that sentence whatsoever.) YOU decided it did not because you think I only live in my little fantasy world. And for your information, I'm more in tune with the real world... More so than I'd like to admit, but yeah. I'm pretty damn aware of it.
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Mokokos
Junior Member
Eating life right up.
Posts: 64
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Post by Mokokos on Feb 7, 2007 22:49:21 GMT -5
Actually, I decided it wasn't the most productive talk because I didn't really learn anything from it. I suppose that's just a perspective thing. It certainly wasn't counter-productive or anything like that, just... Yeah.
Perfect... I hope not. I don't even know what perfect is. I would like to strive for some sort of ideal though... Wow... weird... now that I think about it, couldn't, like, any goal be considered perfect... sorry random tangent. Just... if you have an ideal of someone you want to be, that's technically defined as perfection. I think perfection has the natural implication that it is impossible, so maybe ideal and perfect are not the same thing... How curious........ And this is what happens when I decide to keep typing while I'm thinking =/ Anyways, I have no idea what I'm going to end up as right now, so I can't possibly be striving for perfection.
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Post by Turpentine Kisses on Feb 8, 2007 0:24:47 GMT -5
Well. I'm done with this thread. Because your perception of reality varies from mine. And you won't listen to what I'm saying. I feel like you're trying to avoid it... always looking for that way to twist my words. Which is annoying. BUT. I'm okay with that. I accept it and won't go looking for a fight. (EVEN THOUGH THERE TOTALLY IS ONE RIGHT HERE. xD)
But yeah. Oh, and this little debate or whatever = no one's fault. So don't go beating yourself up over it. Because that'd be ridiculous. -nodnod-
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Post by Lily of the Night on Feb 8, 2007 22:54:49 GMT -5
And i'm betting that last sentence was aimed at both Dia and Connor?
Listen, it's okay to be different. I'm just looking to keep things going. Heh ;P maybe it's selfishness but Canada is changing things. And if there is anything I can do to keep things in a general state of "ohioism" then whatever. Gah. xD I guess what I'm trying to say is I'm seeing my best friend dragged across the country. And then everyone has to go through these problems, whether they're move-related or just basic life things. It's hard keeping a friendship (not to mention three major plotlines) going with a distance of, what, 3000 miles or something?
I guess what I'm trying to say is if it means keeping things within my realm of understanding I will not sit back quietly and watch as Livie's antagonized. There might not be anything I can do, but whatev. I'm having trouble not being blind to life as it continues after the move, but I'm still catching up. I'm getting familiar with names, events and junk. But I still can't deal with not knowing almost everyone who comes up in conversations. Sure, I can feel like I know everyone, but until I meet them in person my views of them are warped. I don't like being useless for giving advice. And I truely can't give any advice on your topic.
I don't know you. I don't know how you look, how you'll react when you first meet me. I can't know what kind of front you'd put up, since i'm getting the full-blown "inside-peek" of your views of life. I don't have an unbiases report of what happens at your school. It's absolutely unbearable. To me.
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Mokokos
Junior Member
Eating life right up.
Posts: 64
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Post by Mokokos on Feb 9, 2007 1:15:37 GMT -5
That was... relaxing to read. Whether it felt logical and sincere, or it was just what I wanted to hear, I don't know. Maybe it was both. But I get where you're coming from, at least to a point. If it makes any difference... I sincerely apologize for doing all the things I did that served to make Livi's life worse. And yours, for that matter. Hmm... Maybe we actually have something in common. I share similar beliefs. I would love to know everything about everyone... But I don't think meeting you will be good enough for me. I can never get enough =/ I crave knowledge, even the not-so-useful stuff... you wouldn't believe some of the things. I also agree with you on advice... 'cept I have a lot of trouble retraining myself from giving advice... >.< Usually just have to keep my mouth shut
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Post by Lily of the Night on Feb 9, 2007 6:31:56 GMT -5
xD Yeah, me too.
As for the "craving knowledge" I don't exactly do that. Crave is too strong a word. I just am curious. As an author anything would be helpful as a stimulant. Little facts often create the best plot lines.
Anyways, thanks for apologising. Now, I gotta get to school. bye
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Post by Dia on Feb 9, 2007 6:33:38 GMT -5
i will say.....i know what it feels like. to have a friend so far away. well....not that far....but moved away. you want them to stay the same. and to be ok. however, kt, -smiles- im very pleased and happy that you are staying in contact with her. that's surly one thing thats way different than rob. ^_~ oh well....i just had the urge to say that. sorry. -bows-
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kuniko
New Member
killer of the night
Posts: 12
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Post by kuniko on Feb 11, 2007 22:56:10 GMT -5
ANNyways. wildfire, i thought it was pretty neat, your story(darkness). i have one in mind...so im gonna put it up.
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