Post by Dia on Feb 15, 2007 22:11:22 GMT -5
i walk the path of the good. i follow the light, i looked back and feared the sight. i run for the good, i follow that light, i want it's warmth. but it lurks, it follows. it watches me as i run. it laughs at me. everything in my stomich turns and i feel the pain, i feel it growing. it follows no matter how hard i run, no matter where i turn, its always there. i slow down for a breath but it grabs me by the should and by fear i run harder and faster. i cry for help but no one hears all i hear is an echo of my own cold hearted feared voice. it wants me but i don't want it. i cry harder and run fast trying to run from it screaming, " I DON'T WANT YOU! I DON'T WANT IT! HELP ME!! ANYONE PLEASE!" but no ones there. finally i trip, its all over now, i sit there in pain watching as it came closer and closer. i turn to look at the light i wanted, i watched and yerned for that warmth feeling of it. i reach out my hand to it, but it went farther and farther away. next moment i see nothing. its all dark, its so cold, its so quiet. it's so painful. i look around frantically. im scared. i get up quickly and run frighteningly around again seeing nothing. not a pinch of light anywhere in sight. i run no matter how much pain i feel no matter how tired i am. im scared and i dont want to be in here. after i had run for so long i went numb. i felt no more pain as i ran harder and harder. i cried no longer of the silence. i still yet to cry for help as i run harder and harder, but then i slowed down. i come to a walk as i see nothing around me. i come to a complete stop and looked at my hands yet when i did i found nothing. i saw nothing. i tried to look down at my feet but once again found nothing and saw nothing. i take one of my hands and try to touch myself but i found nothing and felt nothing. i fall to my knees crying and asking why. i ask why i felt nothing , why i cant feel anything. i asked why i cant see anything or find anything. i asked why i can't be in that warm light i saw, i asked why i cant see it anymore. then i heard a voice. it makes me shiver. its hard and cold, it makes my hair on my neck and arms stick up. it tells me, ' your done, your worthless and its over. you can't feel anything cause you chose not to, you felt nothing because it's what you've become. you see nothing because you chose not to see anything, you find nothing because it's what you've become. you can't be in that warm light because you let no one in. you can't be in it because you can't talk to anyone. you no longer see it because you chose not to see anything, you chose not to feel anything, and you chose to bottle up everything you've almost ever felt. the most important reason why you no longer see that light or feel it is all of because you contiued to run, you always looked back at what mistakes you've made and never attempted to fix them. and now, your hopless and your a waist. you are stuck in this darkness. your stuck in time. ' i shiver in fear. i get up and run harder and faster, as i did i fell. i didn't fall like i did before. i never tripped. instead i fell off of a cliff. i never intirely fell. i dangle off the cliff holding on tight to the edge. i cry for help and hold on tighter. i look up and i see the light again. i called out to it and it responded. it held out a hand, it lifted me up. i felt its warmth for once, i finally did. i walk towards it and found myself getting closer. i found it was getting brighter and brighter, i feared to look back but i got the courage and looked back and found just a speack of darkness but almost not visable. i was happy, i smiled and laughed. i walked on with my head held high i never looked down i never looked back. just smiled laughed and walked on. my mistake, i walked on and fell. i got up brushed it off but walked on. and every so often i would always trip and fall but i would always get up. i got tired after a while when i tripped and it took me more time to get up than the last. i tripped again but just sat there this time. i looked back and it grew again, but slowly. i got up little more quicker and walked on little faster. looking back every so often to see it grow more and more. i kept on tripping, cursing my feet, i asked why i am falling so much. i heard a whisper and my hairs on neck and arms stood up again. your failing again. your messing up. your becoming hopless. im comming after you. i choked and ran. i ran hard and fast again. as i ran i noticed; i still feel nothing and i still see nothing. i choked harder and ran faster and faster. i knew what was wrong. i knew what was comming. i didn't do anything, i won't do anything. i kept running. i looked back and it grew faster and bigger. it followed more and more. it never quite. it never will. i tripped one last time in that light. i fell hard and damaged my body well. i look up and see that the light was leaving me. i cry for it not to. i cry for it to stay. i cry for help but the next thing i know im falling again. this time, there was no ledge. this time i can't save myself, this time it was really over. i look around and noticed that light was on one side of me and dark on the other. i was puzzled but i was scared cause i was falling and i can't do a thing. i took a deep breath and yelled out, ' WHAT HAVE I DONE NOW!? WHAT HAVE I DONE? TELL ME, LET ME LIVE, TELL ME WHAT TO DO!!! ' i stopped yelling and heard the voice again this time it wasnt the cold hard voice. it was soft and warm. it told me, ' you've done nothing and that's where the problem lies. you can't live because you chose that same path you were walking on. you chose not to do a thing for yourself. you did nothing and now you can't do anything. no one may help you in two reasons; no one can and no one will want to. you've lived your life selfishly for your own will. you never opened up, you lied when you said you did. you never communicated with anyone and contiued to bottle up everything you've felt. you contiued to avoid the things you needed to see. you contiued to avoid the things you needed to feel. now you will no longer feel nor see anything. your time is up. your end is here. ' i cryied and looked down i saw the end. i saw it comming closer and closer. i thought to myself why i never did anything. i asked myself why i never wanted to do anything. i asked myself why i pushed everything away. i never had to. i was never stong. on the outside i always acted as if i was, on the inside i always cried, i always felt oh so weak and that's what made me force myself to be stronger on the outside but as hard as i tryied it was still there. i still felt weak. i still felt the pain. i don't know what it was. but it hurt. and it wouln't go away. i stopped crying and looked down. i was so scared but it came. it was over. i hit the end and now. im done. i am now and forever dead, paralized. from my own mistakes, its all over now.
what was once the end.....is now a new beginning.
what was once the end.....is now a new beginning.
